Overwhelming
Overwhelming. Yesterday, as I navigated the vast corridors of the Mayo Clinic, from testing appointment to testing appointment, I was overwhelmed by many things. The sheer size of the Mayo Clinic (covering multiple downtown city blocks in Rochester, Minnesota) has an amazing underground tunnel system connecting all the facilities and is truly awe inspiring.
There are a lot of signs and it is not too hard to navigate, but there is also an overwhelming sense of suffering that contributes to the feelings of sadness, fear, and yes, anger. I’m also overwhelmed by simply having to be here to fight a battle with cancer.
Feeling a heavy weight, it is hard to walk around, and I noticed that I’m not the only one overwhelmed.
Today, I rode down the hotel elevator to head out for a walk. In the elevator was a fellow cancer patient, a man who has had multiple surgeries to correct facial bone injuries, and worried family members looking after their ill spouses and siblings. My typical experience in an elevator is awkward indifference, not the thick sense of sadness this morning. I’m not the only one overwhelmed.
I took a walk around the downtown neighborhood, and my overwhelming feelings were fed by the ever present environment. There are buildings after buildings and institutions after institutions dedicated to serving those who are overwhelmed and suffering:
Pathway House - an Addiction Treatment Center
Jewish Cultural Center - advocating for the patients effected by middle east terrorism and violence
Ronald McDonald House - Providing comfort, care, and support for families with sick children
The Gift of Life Transplant House - a home that helps and heals providing services to transplant patients and their caregivers
Those are just a few of the facilities I saw on a short 30 minute walk. There are many more.
If you are still for enough time just about anywhere in Rochester and make any attempt to feel and discern the environment, you can feel the suffering. As I walked back to the hotel, I could easily sense the despair and weight of so many people being overwhelmed.
Just as easily as the sense of overwhelming engulfed me, the answer was right before me: fathers and brothers.
If I look closer, I see opportunity and realization. I see the opportunity to father people and be a brother, and I see examples of this being realized.
Looking around Rochester and the Mayo Clinic I see fathering:
In a waiting room, I see a man father his daughter (I assume his biological daughter) simply being there with her as she waits to start a chemotherapy injection session. I don’t know exactly what is on his mind, but his actions express love, compassion, caring, concern, presence - all good fathering characteristics.
In a local restaurant, I see a man father his family, and overhearing some of the conversation, he was treating the kids to a lunch out while mom is getting some sort of treatment. It was obvious that the chance to eat out was a treat, and the father’s presence and grace in fathering his children during such a stressful time was a blessing. He spent dedicated time with each child, making each one feel comforted.
In my own story, I have message after message from brothers who unceasingly encourage and lift me up. They repeatedly show concern, compassion, and love as they father me in my journey.
I also see brothers:
In another waiting room, I see a brother, a literal sibling, come alongside his brother as only a brother can in such a situation with humor, comfort, and presence.
At the hotel I see a brother helping his siblings family (blood or otherwise, it doesn’t matter) check in and get settled with patience and care.
I have call after call and message after message from my blood brothers and my RP brothers providing humor, encouragement, and blessing.
Maybe it is not so overwhelming as I originally thought! At least I know the antidote and have identified a source of relief = Fathers and Brothers!
Do you have the right Fathers and Brothers to help you with your journey?
Who are the people in your life that night need a brother or a father to check in on them right now?
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Robin Erkkila, Key Volunteer and Core Member
